


Two Long Years

by Angel_Waters



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, Romance, songfics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 12:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Waters/pseuds/Angel_Waters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Anita, as she is about to leave Santa Fe, overhears Edward confessing to Donna that Anita is his everything? Will they be able to work through the argument that follows, or is this the end of their friendship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye

***** CHAPTER ONE: Goodbye *****

My bag was packed and my cab was called. All I needed to do now was tell Edward that I was leaving. And thank goodness for that. I couldn’t take any more weird shit. I mean, between a wannabe-God vampire and a psycho-rapist who thought I’d be the perfect victim, I was at my max. At least, I’d thought that until I heard Edward’s voice. 

“You don’t get it, Donna. You’ll never compare to her. She’s everything you’re not, everything you can’t ever be. …She’s strong. She’ll never wait for anyone else to ride to the rescue. She bounces back from whatever knocks her off her feet. She… She’s perfect.”

I think my heart stopped. Was he really saying all this? About me? To his fiancée? This couldn’t be happening. And, if my heart hadn’t stopped at his words, it definitely stopped when he turned around and saw me standing in his bedroom doorway like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I’ll call you back later,” he said quietly before he hung up on her.

“Edward?” I nearly choked on the word, not knowing what I was supposed to do next.

“Anita. How much did you hear?” he asked. His voice and expression were guarded, always carefully neutral, but I could see the tightness around his eyes and in the set of his jaw.

“Why would you say something like that? You’re engaged to her! You shouldn’t have told her she’ll never compare to me. How am I everything she’s not? She’d be strong, too, if she went through everything I did. You can’t blame her for her circumstances. And I don’t always bounce back. And I do wait for you to ride to the rescue! And I’m not perfect. I could never be perfect. You know that better than anyone. You’ve seen me at my worst!” I exclaimed, still clearly in shock. 

“I have seen you at your worst. And I stuck around. Doesn’t that tell you something?” he asked, his calm slipping just a little.

I did the only thing I could think of: I fled. I walked briskly away from him back to my room, grabbed my bag, and continued outside to the cab.

“Anita, wait!” he called, following after me.

“No. No way. I’m out of here, Edward. You know I don’t think you should marry her, but you can’t leave her like that. Not for me, not for someone else. Go back in there, call her, and fix this. I’m going home.” 

“Back to the monsters.”

“Yeah, back to my monsters.”

“Don’t leave. Give me a chance to explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain. You’re going to apologize to Donna, and I’m going to fly home. I’ll see you the next time one of us needs backup,” I added. I threw my bag in the cab and climbed in.

“I won’t call.”

“What?”

“If you leave like this, I won’t call you when I need backup. I won’t come to help you if you call me, either. I can’t work with you until we talk about this. I’ll be too distracted,” he said as he grabbed the door before I could close it.

“Goodbye, Edward. I’m sorry, and I’ll miss you, but I can’t deal with this right now. I just can’t,” I sighed. I was already fighting not to cry or scream or lash out in some other irrational way. There was no way I could have that conversation right then.

“Goodbye, Anita. Goodbye,” he whispered.

And with that, his mask fell away. I’d like to be able to say I knew what he looked like that moment, but I can’t. All I saw were his eyes, so open and raw.

That one look broke something inside of me. 

But before I could say something, anything to make it better and get my stone-cold Edward back, he closed the cab door and I was being taken away, taken back home, taken to my monsters.


	2. Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song is "Without You " by Jonathan Larson, from Rent.

***** CHAPTER TWO: Without You *****

 

I hadn’t heard from Edward since I left. He was true to his word. He hadn’t called me once, not even to check in and see if I was still alive. But, to be fair, I hadn’t called him either. I really missed him. We’d gone for long periods of time without talking before, but not like this. It was never so hard. I caught myself thinking of him, remembering little things we’d done together on different cases and how he always came through for me in the end. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. We’d saved each other so many times, but that wasn’t it. In all honesty, I cared for him. A lot.

 

_Without you_

_The ground thaws_

_The rain falls_

_The grass grows_

 

I didn’t know if he ever called Donna. I didn’t know if she and the kids were okay. I didn’t know if he was even alive. Oh God, why did that thought hurt me so much? It’s not like I loved him. Well, I did. Obviously. But I wasn’t in love with him. …Was I?

 

_Without you_

_The seeds root_

_The flowers bloom_

_The children play_

 

Time kept passing. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months… Before I knew it, nearly a year had passed. It didn’t feel like so long, in some ways. The cases with Dolph and Zerbrowski came and went like they always did. Executions were ordered and fulfilled. It was all so normal. So why did I feel like something was terribly wrong? Why did it seem like there was some part of my life that was missing?

 

_The stars gleam_

_The poets dream_

_The eagles fly_

_Without you_

 

I still wasn’t talking to Jean-Claude or Richard. I think they’d finally given up. Our triumvirate was all but useless. We never interacted, and we all shielded as hard as we could. I guess I really hadn’t gone home to my monsters, after all. I’d just gone back to St. Louis.

 

_The earth turns_

_The sun burns_

_But I die_

_Without you_

 

Everything was so monotonous now. Each day was the same thing. Wake up, get coffee, go to the office, then the cemeteries to raise zombies, and then back to my house for a shower and a quick dinner before bed.

 

_Without you_

_The breeze warms_

_The girl smiles_

_The cloud moves_

 

Ronnie and Louie were busy being a happy couple, so of course I didn’t see much of her. There was talk of moving in together. There was talk of marriage. There was talk, talk, talk. As far as I knew, nothing came of it.

 

_Without you_

_The tides change_

_The boys run_

_The oceans crash_

 

A new Lupa officially took over. I was no longer tied to the wolves in any way. Well, other than the bit of metaphysical shit that crept through my shields. But that wasn’t much. I couldn’t even really feel the pack anymore when they were around. And they took in the pard, too. It didn’t bother me much.

 

_The crowds roar_

_The days soar_

_The babies cry_

_Without you_

 

A little over a year, and still no word from Edward. I was worried. Why hadn’t he called me? Why hadn’t I called him?

 

_The moon glows_

_The river flows_

_But I die_

_Without you_

 

There was a scare that I might become a wereanimal. A panda, of all things. The explanation for that is a very long case story, so most of the details I can’t share. Suffice it to say he was bad, and he died. I didn’t try to call Edward in for backup. Maybe I should’ve. It was a pretty close call.

 

_The world revives_

_Colors renew_

_But I know blue_

_Only blue_

_Lonely blue_

_Within me blue_

_Without you_

 

To the random passerby, and even to those who knew me well, it looked like my life was back to normal. It was like nothing had happened. But in my own head, the world was dark and ugly. Maybe I was just lonely.

 

_Without you_

_The hand gropes_

_The ear hears_

_The pulse beats_

 

I hadn’t seen or heard from him in one year and seven months as of today. I really did think about him too much. I just couldn’t seem to make myself pick up the phone. What would I say to him?

 

_Without you_

_The eyes gaze_

_The legs walk_

_The lungs breathe_

 

Another month. Another space of time that left me feeling empty, devoid of all emotion. Was I in hell? Had I died somewhere along the way and only thought I’d come back? That must’ve been it.

 

_The mind churns_

_(The mind churns)_

 

After all this time, there was nothing to say to him. It’d been too long. He didn’t feel that way about me anymore. He would’ve called me if he did.

 

_The heart yearns_

_(The heart yearns)_

 

I missed him so much. A year and ten months really was far too long. We were friends, right? One little phone call wouldn’t hurt. I’d just say I wanted to see if he was doing okay.

 

_The tears dry_

_Without you_

 

Of course, I wouldn’t call him. I knew I wouldn’t. But it was nice to think I might, one day. As if I’d ever work up the courage to do it. Hah! But, like I said, it was nice to think that maybe I could.

 

_Life goes on_

_But I’m gone_

_‘Cause I die_

_Without you_

 

Three weeks from now, it will have been exactly two years. I wondered how much he’d changed. Did he change? He never seemed to before.

 

_Without you_

 

Two weeks to go. Maybe I would call him, after all.

 

_Without you_

 

One more week. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if he was still alive or not. Did he still care?

 

_Without you_

 

Today was the day. Just ten little numbers to dial, and then I was listening to the same old answering machine. There was the beep. Now it was time for the message. What could I say?

“Hi, Edward. It’s Anita…” I started. Then I didn’t know what should come next. “Come for a visit. I need… want to see you.” And I hung up. Either he’d come, or he wouldn’t. It was all up to him now. I’d made my move.


	3. Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song is "Your Eyes" by Jonathan Larson, from Rent.

***** CHAPTER THREE: Your Eyes *****

 

It’d been close to a month since I’d called him. I’d started to give up any hope of seeing him. Then, after one of my usual long and bloody days of work, I came home to find the door unlocked. My mind flashed back to the last time I’d seen him. The look in his eyes… How could I face him after that?

 

_Your eyes_

_As we said our goodbyes_

_Can’t get them out of my mind_

_And I find I can’t hide_

 

There he was, sitting at my kitchen table with two cups of steaming coffee on the table in front of him, those icy blue eyes boring into mine. They were as cold and as secretive as they had always been. Maybe things hadn’t changed.

 

_Your eyes_

_The ones that took me by surprise_

_The night you came into my life_

_Where there’s moonlight_

_I see your eyes_

 

“Anita.”

“Edward.” 

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, I did. I mean, I do… How are you? How have you been?” I asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I was.

“This is what you needed to see me about?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. Well, no. This could’ve been done over the phone. But I… I just wanted to see you.”

“I’ve been doing pretty well.”

“Good. That’s good,” I nodded. I still had no idea what to say to him. But it good just to see him again, to know he was okay.

 

_How’d I let you slip away_

_When I’m longing so to hold you_

_Now I’d die for one more day_

_‘Cause there’s something I should have told you_

_When I looked into your eyes_

 

“How about you?”

“I’ve been… busy.”

“Anything interesting on the radar?” he asked, shifting subtly so that his hand was closer to his gun.

“No, there’s nothing right now. A while ago a werepanda was terrorizing people a few cities over, but it’s all taken care of now.”

“Yeah, I read about him. You took quite a beating. You didn’t… catch anything?”

“Nope, no furry Anita.”

“Good to hear.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. This time the silence wasn’t quite as unbearable.

 

_Why does distance make us wise_

_You were the song all along_

_And before the song dies_

_I should tell you_

 

“What did you really want to talk me about, Anita?” he asked after a suitably long pause. 

“I’ve missed you. I knew I would, but I didn’t think… I had no idea how much. All I can really say now is that I’m sorry, Edward. I fucked up,” I whispered. 

“I missed you, too.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No?”

“You know it’s not.”

“Explain.”

“Do you still care about me, Edward?”

“Of course I do,” he said. He didn’t take any time to think about the answer. He just said it as soon as he thought it.

“I mean, what you said back in Santa Fe… Is that still true?”

“No one could ever measure up to you, Anita. Not then, and not now.”

“Do you love me?” I asked, hating the almost scared tone in my voice. More than that, I hated the fact that he took his time before answering me this time.

 

_I should tell you_

_I have always loved you_

_You can see it in my eyes_

 

“Of course I do,” he repeated. 

“I love you, too.”

“Do you really?” His mask was still firmly in place, concealing whatever thoughts were running through his mind.

“I do,” I whispered.

I let my eyes show the truth of my words, and suddenly he wasn’t quite so distant. In fact, he was much closer than he’d ever been. He was across the table within seconds and giving me the most mind-blowing kisses I’d ever experienced. And, considering the fact that I’d kissed a vampire with centuries of practiced seduction, that was saying something. But I didn’t want to think about that.

All that mattered now was the man in front of me.

My Edward.


End file.
